Saturday, November 9, 2013

Stanley, Elf Daddy in his Caddy: The Saga Begins

Stanley, Elf Daddy in his Caddy: The Saga Begins



Onward and upward, they soldiered through.
It may seem kinda crazy, but one thing they knew;
Stanley, Mac Daddy of the North Pole

For their master plan to work,
An Elf needed to be found.
Which is why these crazy chicks
Were searching all over town.


To Wal-Mart they flew, searching aisle after aisle.

The employees were nervous, offering worried little smiles.
“I haven’t seen it,” said #1.
“What the hell is it?” said #2.
“I’m pretty sure it’s at Walgreens.”
Interjected some random dude.


So to the car they did run (OK, more a Frankenstein waddle)

Chris wished she’d bought booze. This quest just begged for a bottle!
But the time was running short
And the gals knew one thing for certain,
A Pimp and his Hos

If they couldn’t find a damn Elf
Their plan would never be workin’.


From store to store they drove, buggin’ employees happy and mean.

This shit was escalating to a fucking Elf Quest, 2013
Then The Girl had an idea.
It seemed a stroke of genius at the time…
They could go home, put on PJ‘s,
And find the stupid Elf on-line!


So they took their idea, as disturbing as might be,

And to home base they raced, giggling with maniacal glee.
They threw on their jammies,
The Girl searched while Chris frowned,
And with a few rapid-fire keystrokes
Stanley, Mac Daddy of the North Pole was found!
Meet Bitch in the Ditch


This Season you may have your Shelf Elf, that’s fine.

These two creepy chicks have something far worse in mind.
There’s Stanley and his hot girls.
(Or a pimp and his smoking’ Hos)
They’re called Bitch in the Ditch
And The Ho in the Snow.


If you’re fed up with the posts you know you’re bound to find

Of Shelf sitting Elves and the cutesy ways they hide,
Then come on by every Saturday
‘Til the end of 2013.
We’ll have the Adventures of Stanley
(No promises, but I’ll TRY to keep it “clean”.)
Meet Ho in the Snow!


Yeah, we know we’re demented. (Hubby tells us all the time.)

But with all the fun we have, that’s totally fine!
So I’m offering a toast
*raises coffee mug to you*
To the Elf Daddy in his Caddy
And all the fun that should ensue.

2 comments:

  1. It is good to know there is someone else just as demented as I. 😉

    ReplyDelete
  2. He he he. You know it! I'm considering importing Stanley's sister. Ya know, to help with the bid'ness? *giggle snort*

    ReplyDelete