Thursday, February 6, 2014

I saw the Featherless Human and lived to tell about it!

 There you are, sitting innocently enough on your couch and watching a little TV, reading a book, or even just trying to take a nap, but you can’t shake that feeling that something is a little…off.

 You put your book down and glance out the window, only to discover that you’re being watched. Nope, it’s not the creepy neighbor or the meter reader guy. You, my friend, are being watched by a family of chickens.

 Why are you being watched by chickens? Obviously, in your weird little corner of the universe, you are the roadside destination for chickens everywhere. (You know, kinda like the world’s biggest ball of twine or loaf of bread?) Yep! That picture window you love so much because it lets in all the light, provides a beautiful view of the sunset, and keeps you from feeling all caged-in? Really IS there to keep you from feeling all caged-in because you’re just that…caged-in.

Chick #1–  Daaaaaaaad-dy! The human is looking at me!”

Daddy Rooster“Don’t make any sudden movements son. The brochure says they’re easily excitable and unpredictable. I don’t know about you, but that glass doesn’t look that strong to me.”

Mommy Hen- “Oh Harold, stop it. You’ll give the boy nightmares!”

Young Hen“Oh John, just look at her! The poor thing looks like she needs a bath and a hot meal. I feel so sorry for her.”

Young Rooster“You know that’s how they lure you in, right? They look so sad and harmless without their feathers that you just wanna hug ‘em. THAT’S when they pounce! Chikipedia says that in the wild? They eat…CHICKENS!”

Young HenSQUEEEEEK! John, I wanna leave now!”

Lone Rooster“Who’s a pretty girl? That’s right! YOU’RE a pretty girl! *sigh* I wish I could find one of your babies in the wild. I’d take it home and keep it. I bet a pet human would be a GREAT way to pick up chicks.”

I saw the Featherless Human and lived to tell about it!

 If you think about it, it kinda make you feel special. After all, not just anyone can say they bring joy and laughter to countless chickens by doing nothing more than being their normal, couch slug selves.
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